How to raise children with a sense of resilience? This week, we are joined again by Luiza Coscia, an engineer, author, and mother of five children with special needs. She discusses her strategies to raise out-of-the-box children with out-of-the-box strategies.
Raising Resilient Kids
Luiza Y. Coscia, author of Outcast to Outstanding: The Practical Guide to Understanding & Addressing the Drivers of Your Child’s Behavior, joined us as a special guest again this week. Luiza is an author, engineer, and mother of five children with special needs. Last time she was a guest on the podcast, we discussed the importance of being resilient as a parent. Today, we discuss some of her strategies for raising resilient children.
Luiza has a series of strategies that she employs in order to instill a sense of resilience into her children. She knows that at some point, all children will find themselves in situations that require them to exhibit the ability to remain resilient in the face of trouble. Coscia describes children’s brains as a sponge, and says that it is parent’s jobs to feed that. Through several different methods, Luiza teaches her children how to act resilient.
The first strategy that Luiza uses to help her children understand the importance of resilience is subjecting them to historical figures. By sharing the stories of others acts of resilience, she hopes her children will aim to exhibit the same traits. She told us about how her two year old son likes to share the story of Gandhi with others. Luiza will write down quotes from these historical figures, and talk about how their words have left legacies. She believes that children can look up to these people, and strive to be more like them.
Front Loading Resilience Strategies
Her second strategy is something that she likes to refer to as “front loading.” Front loading involves preparing children for difficult situations before they encounter them. For example, whenever she takes all five of her children bowling she will discuss with them that not all of them will win. However, she tells them that if they work hard on it, they will improve. She provides incentives for her children such as if everyone graciously loses, they will be allowed to play a second game.
The third strategy is to draw to children in order to help them learn. Luiza will illustrate things on kitchen napkins to teach her kids different ways of being resilient. She will display someone overcoming difficult situations, and exhibit that at the end things worked out properly. Luiza says that the drawings can range in complexity depending on the age of the child.
Another strategy that Luiza uses is modeling situations of resilience in her own life to her children. She says that you are your child’s hero, whether you feel like it or not. An example from her own life that she uses to illustrate her ability to be resilient is the difficulty she faces at home when her husband is out of town travelling for work. She asks her children if she should just give up, and throw in the towel. By displaying her own hardships, her children not only learn but offer to provide more help.
Now that you have taught your children some ways to be resilient, your fifth strategy would be to have your kids practice being resilient. Luiza will have her children imagine being in very difficult situations, and have them display resilience. Luiza does this by having them say out loud phrases such as, “this is difficult, but I will get through it.”
Live Resilience Every Day
Luiza’s final strategy is that you need to live resilience in your life. You have to communicate with your child, and talk about using resilience day to day. It is important for you to tell them situations in which you faced trials and tribulations, but were able to be resilient. If you employ Luiza Y. Coscia’s strategies, you will be able to successfully teach your children how to be resilient.
Listen to the full podcast for all of Luiza’s strategies.
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
I really love how Luiza shared ways to help our children become more resilient. I think every parent wants that. We can’t protect our children from all of the tough stuff that they will experience, that would be impossible! So in lieu of that, building resilience in them is the next best thing. I’d love to know some unique ways you’ve built resilience in your kids. Please share your ideas over on our Facebook page.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luiza discussed the importance of being resilient as a parent – so if you need some help on how to become more resilient, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Jennifer Lynn McGraw who talks about helping teens move forward past their story to change the world.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Before you go, don’t forget your free download that answers the question: Can I Write About My Ex? And Other Burning Questions About Life Storytelling. You know you’re curious about it. Check it out and download it for free at stacybrookman.com/write.
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
One more thing…we’re having fun counting down the 100+ Most Important Memoirs of the past 200 years. So our memoir of the day is Mommie Dearest from 1978. Mommie Dearest is a memoir and exposé written by Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of actress Joan Crawford. It describes her upbringing by an unbalanced alcoholic mother, whom she judged unfit to raise children. The book attracted much controversy, with many family friends denouncing it as fiction, but others claiming that it was a broadly accurate, if exaggerated, account of Christina’s troubled childhood. Check out Mommie Dearest and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
And always remember, Life is a story, and it’s never too late to start telling yours.
About: Luiza Coscia
Luiza is an author and speaker who teaches on effective parenting to yield more quality time, child behaviors, and nurturing children to the next level of outstanding. She also provides coaching services to busy parents and families.
Her background includes a Bachelor’s of Science degree in engineering and a real life PhD that she earned working with other families and raising and homeschooling her own 6 children who required creative interventions due to special needs & special challenges.
What sets Luiza apart is that she honed her problem solving and analytical skills during her successful engineering career, skills that she now applies to engineer unique solutions for parents to nurture the diamond in the rough in their children. Her unique solutions cover anything from bedtime challenges to sibling relationships, and they always ignite the best out of every child.
About: Marco Coscia
Marco is also an engineer with a creative mindset, who is also a professional voice over talent. He believes each child has their own unique talent that can only be fully revealed with proper parent support.
Through Marco and Luiza’s struggles and challenges they have developed strategies to create a sense of harmony in their clan. Now they would like to share their journey and parenting strategies. They have seen how, with the proper strategies, even “problem” behaviors can be turned around. Marco believes “problem” children can truly flourish by changing the paradigm and addressing the behaviors with the proper perspective.
Marco uses his own childhood struggles and experiences to bring a unique perspective on the child’s view.
Facebook Page: Harmonious Clan
Resources Mentioned in the Show: Outcast to Outstanding: The Practical Guide to Understanding & Addressing the Drivers of Your Child’s Behavior
Also published on Medium.