“I have somewhat been a magnet for narcissists my whole life,” says Lindsey Ellison, founder of Start Over – Find Happiness, a coaching program. She now runs a course called “Break Free from Your Narcissist” that helps women overcome difficulties and get free from narcissistic partners. Women need to realize that it is impossible to nurture a narcissist enough. That’s where narcissists get the gasoline for their ego. Someone who falls in love with a narcissist is frequently a co-dependent person. They give away too much to someone who hasn’t earned it. Listen to the podcast for insight into how to break free from a narcissist…AND listen to Lindsey read her story of the worst Mother’s Day ever (and what she did about it).
Tough Life Writing Helps Other Women
Not a lot of people understand narcissists and sociopaths. When Lindsey first started her blog, she was writing to no one, but she started pitching them to Huffington Post. However, her personal story about not wanting to have sex with her husband got picked up and resonated with women. Now, as a regular contributor, she writes specifically about what women go through and receives hundreds of comments on her articles.
What is a Narcissist?
They are related to sociopaths, and both of these disorders produce manipulating and abusive behavior. Abuse comes in many forms and affects many people in the victim’s life. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuses are common and equally degrading and harmful. They are ALL abuse. How do you spot one? One of the first signs of a narcissist or sociopath is they get people to feel sorry for them. In hindsight, their stories are unbelievable, but their initially charming personalities draw people in. Once they’ve won you over, the mask comes off and they denigrate their victims, devalue and demean them. It’s incredibly difficult to get away from a narcissist or a sociopath. Believe it or not, you have likely encountered one either in your family, your neighborhood, or your workplace.
Blindfolds, Guilt, and Getting Help
Lindsey felt she went through her own divorce with a blindfold on, and experienced incredible guilt over what was happening with her children. She started writing through her pain and shared her story which actually helps other women. Knowing that you’re not alone and that others have been through the same thing is a beautiful gift for others. So her pain is helping to heal other people.
Women are taught to be nurturers. Sometimes, though, they over nurture. When they want to do something for themselves, they feel guilty. Setting boundaries in place and saying “I deserve better,” provides a healthier perspective.
Women need to realize that it is impossible to nurture a narcissist enough. Narcissists are attracted to over givers. That’s where they get the gasoline for their ego.
Someone who falls in love with a narcissist is frequently a co-dependent person. They don’t require many things of people and give away too much to someone who hasn’t earned it.
Listen to the podcast for additional insight…AND listen to Lindsey read her story of the worst Mother’s Day ever (and what she did about it).
Take Home Message (listen to the podcast for the full scoop):
- Don’t make compromises until you are in a safe and healthy relationship. That includes your relationships with friends, family, and even children.
- Teach your kids NOT to be narcissists…by having boundaries and calling them on their behavior.
Lifestory Toolkit: Forever.com
(Brought to you by Lifestorytelling.com – Discover YOUR life stories!)
This episode’s Lifestory Toolkit features a website – Forever.com helps people collect, curate, and celebrate life’s stories. They offer permanent cloud storage for photos along with powerful tools for organizing, digital scrapbooking, and custom photo gifts. If you are one of those people who have old photo albums, or take pictures digitally which then stay on your computer un-looked-at, then you need to take a look at this. Upload your pictures (there are free and paid accounts based on number of photos), then you create and share your photos and stories. What’s different about this site is that it’s permanent and secure. You basically scrapbook online, then share that scrapbook with friends and family members of your choosing…and they don’t need an account to see them!
They also digitize other types of memorabilia. For instance they’ve digitized kids artwork, ceramics, old clothing, flags, virtually anything that is important to you, you can send it in to Forever.comand get it digitized to preserve it, well, forever. The other neat thing they can do is put your pictures on a mug, cell phone case, or other items so you can give them as gifts. This is a great way to store and organize your photos and tell your family stories. Besides the Forever.com free account, the pricing per month is $5 to $15 (not bad), but it’s even cheaper if you purchase the permanent plans and pay a one-time fee. There is an app for that as well, it’s free too.
Free Download: How to Tell When It’s Time to Leave Your Man
About: Lindsey Ellison
Lindsey Ellison is a coach, a speaker and a clinical therapist assisting women to overcome break ups and divorce. She is also a blogger for websites including Huffington Post, Divorcemoms.com and yourTango. She underwent the ordeal of divorce in her early life but is now happily remarried. She is also a professional in PR marketing and journaling. Lindsey founded Start Over, Find Happiness, a coaching practice that helps women overcome divorce and break ups. She was the victim of a narcissistic relationship and through her speaking and teaching, she shares the private experience of her personal life. She has assisted many women facing challenges she once faced, and through her website women have been able to come together to share their pain leading to their restoration and healing.
Facebook Page: Lindsey Ellison – Coach